book 9 of 24 books in 28 days: running with scissors
What happened between the first time that I read Augusten Burroughs' Running With Scissors: A Memoir, when I admired its brave honesty and found it engaging and heart-rending, and this time, when I found it upsetting and somewhat annoying? Maybe I've read too many memoirs lately, and I wanted more than this one could give (I'm starting to sound like I'm in a relationship with memoir, I know).
I want to say, Augusten, you've gone so far in this thing, telling us all about the crazy dog-food-eating, kitchen-roof-removing, statutory-rape-condoning, bible-as-magic-8-ball-dipping, electric-shock-machine-toying, patient-adopting family of your mother's psychiatrist Dr. Finch; your poet-mother's psychotic episodes; your mathematician-father's refusal to take your calls; why don't you go a little farther and tell us what it means to you?
In a scene, for example, when his mother is taken away from her home in handcuffs in the middle of a psychotic break, he writes, "I felt a horrific sadness watching her stripped of her dignity and her will. I also thought, whatever happened to Christina Crawford? I wonder if she's okay." His digression continues into a reverie about Marie Osmond and whether the cheap motel soap he's about to use will damage his hair.
I don't think this book is "about" his crazy life with the Finch family from the time he was twelve until he was seventeen. So what do I think it's about?
Maybe it's about the tension between wanting "fabric-softener, tuna-salad-on-white, PTA-meeting normal" and wanting what he calls a "big life." Or maybe it's about the downside of being told that he can make his own decisions at 13: "The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what not to do."
When he decides at the end of the book to separate from his family and the Finches to head to New York at 17 with a GED and a collection of notebooks and journals and a determination to be a writer (and knowing that he succeeds), he says, "Unwittingly, I had earned a PhD in survival."
Okay, now I remember why I liked it the first time.