Angela Kelsey

Tell the Story

Yzwomen

Filed in Dating Violence, Domestic Violence, Stories, voices :: February 29, 2012

I picked at my scrambled eggs and cantaloupe this morning as I watched her sitting at a nearby table, tapping on her phone.

Last fall we’d met at another fundraiser. We were both team leaders, and she and her team were the top money-raisers.

Then, as today, she looked beautiful, strong, and self-assured.

She stood to speak, and I assumed that she was going to talk about the good things Women In Distress does, and she did, but she also told her own story of being a survivor.  She told of the disconnect between being with an abusive husband at night and going to work in the morning as a successful gynecological surgeon.

People have said that they are surprised when I tell my story. I was surprised when she told hers.

Tonight I am most surprised by my surprise.  I thought I understood that there is no clear victim-identifier. That the fact that one in three women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime means one in three women. Period.

Apparently I needed a yzwoman’s reminder.

Many thanks to my yzwoman friend Jeanne for the ingenious title which helps me to complete my abecedarium on this leap day.